Day 1: I take the girls to visit Lanie because she just got her wisdom teeth out. Lanie is Ashley's friend, and I'm adopting Lanie as my new little sister because Ashley is heading to college in the fall. Anyway, Lanie's mom teaches kindergarten at Waterford. We are really hoping Maile will have her for a teacher next year, but mostly likely Maile won't get into her section. Before we leave Lanie's house, Maile asks Lanie's mom, "So did you get fired?" And Lanie's mom explains that as far as she knows, she still has a job. So Maile follows that question with, "Do you have weeds in your back yard?"
Day 2: Kea has her annual check-up with the pediatrician. The doctor asks Kea to put a book back on the shelf, and Kea does it, so he says, "Wow! You're fast." And Maile says, "I'm slow." Of course the doctor asks her why she's slow, and she says, "It's because I eat really slow, and I don't like to run very much." Then the doctor tells Kea he's going to listen to her heart, and he jokingly puts the stethoscope on Kea's head. Kea's shy, so she doesn't say anything, but as always, Maile has to open her mouth. Maile says, "Hey! That's not her heart! Her heart's right here." And she points to her sternum. So Kea says, "Um, Maile your heart is on the left side." Then the doctor tells Kea to raise her arms really high and says, "So I can tickle you!" And he tickles her. So Maile says, "I can tickle you." And she jumps on the doctor and tries to tickle him. And I am completely embarrassed because I have to pull her off of him. So he sits down, and Maile pounces on him again, so I have to pull her off a second time. And then the doctor takes out some tools, and Maile tells him what they are (including the ear cleaner,) and he tells her the fact that she knows so much is a little scary. And she says, "You're funny."
Day 3: I go to pick up the kids, and I'm informed that Kea was discussing body parts with her friend, Phoenix. Apparently Kea told Phoenix, that his male part was called a penis. So he says to her, "No it's not a penis. Those are my nuts." And another little 3-year-old says, "Those aren't nuts. That's called my unit."
Day 4: Maile says, "Mom, I think I need to live with you forever." And I say, "No, Maile. You gotta trust me . . . you need to get out of my house at some point." And she says, "Well, I've been thinking about it . . . and I'm just a little nervous about moving in with my boyfriend." And so I say, "First of all, you don't need to be worrying about a boyfriend right now. And second, you really do need to get out of my house at some point."
Day 5: For over a year Maile has been drawing pictures of booby traps so that she can "catch Dad and shave off his hair." On this day, she and Kea take the drawings and actually turn them into reality. The only problem is that Dad is not coming home for a few days. While a grand piano and a boulder appear in the drawings, they fortunately are not part of this trap.
Day 6: We are going to a family BBQ, and I get a phone call from the sitter because Kea is throwing a fit. I have packed pink shorts for Kea to wear, and Kea HATES pink. But I win that argument because the only other option for her is her underwear. So we get there, and Maile says, "Mom, you need to come here. I really need to tell you something." And I have learned enough in the short time she's been alive that I know not to go. So she convinces her Auntie Kristen to go with her, and she tells Kristen, "Um . . . there's a boy over there with glasses, and uh, he keeps asking me to play with him, and uh . . . I'm pretty sure he's in love with me." So Kristen says, "No, I think he's just asking you to play with him because he wants to be your friend." And Maile says, "Um, no. He's in love with me." And later that night, a dog is running around the pavilion, and Maile says, "Mom, I think that wolf took my acorn." So I tell her I'm sure she can get another one, but she says, "Curse that wolf! I curse that wolf, and I want to cut his socks." And I tell her to calm down because cutting socks is going way too far. And then she says, "Mom, I really want to find a shooting star because if I see one, I can make a wish. And I'm going to wish that I can be magic, so I can do spells . . . but I better start practicing spells now so I'll be ready." So I ask her what kind of spells she plans to do, and she says, "I can do a spell that will make us breakfast like, 'Come make us pancake-us.' And I can do a spell so you'll be rich." I liked the spell that would make me rich a lot better than the breakfast one.Day 7: Grant has missed out on day 4 through day 7 because he's been sleeping at the office. He had a jury trial. So we're eating dinner without Grant, and Kea says, "I really hope Dad comes home because I really don't want to have a step-dad . . . unless it's Batman. And if it's Batman, I would ask him if I could check out his lab downstairs." Kea, I am totally fine with Batman being your step-dad as long as it's Christian Bale.
So yeah, that's a typical week. Every day is an adventure at our house.
